I Enjoy Being A Girl

 

I like being a girl, in general. Growing up I wasn’t all that into most “girly” things though – I was way too busy pretending to be a horse, playing with model horses, drawing horses, you get the idea. In middle school I still wasn’t quite there yet either. I was shy and awkward, not very popular, with braces and questionable fashion sense. I like to think that since then I have become a woman who is confident in her womanhood, embracing things like bras and mascara that previously intimidated and even at times mystified me. I used to just feel out of place and in the way. Now I know I’m woman. ROAR!

But let me ask you, is there anything that makes you feel less enthusiastic about being a woman than your monthly period? One of the very symbols of being female is also my least favorite part about being a girl. I got my first period when I was in 5th grade, so I’ve been dealing with it for a while but it still makes me feel like an awkward kid even at nearly 26 years of age.

Because it makes me crazy. Like legitimately batsh*t crazy. Mood swings barely begins to cover it. More like multiple personality disorder. And all of them are completely nuts. I mean yes there’s the cramps, the headaches, the general feeling of “blah”, the bloating, hormonal acne, body aches, and all that jazz…but it’s the dang moods that really send me over the edge. Do you know what it’s like to feel completely out of control but be conscious of it at the same time? It makes me want to just lock myself on an island for a week so I don’t alienate my entire family.

First, there’s The Hungry Thing. The Hungry Thing gets violent food cravings, and wickedly territorial about food. My family has been warned to stay the hell away from whatever is that month’s snack of choice. Unlike most girls I tend not to crave chocolate. I’m much more into salty snacks. Pickles, cheetohs, popcorn, and cucumber are all favorites, but it varies. I have no way of predicting it. For a long time it was pumpkin seeds. Another month, sharp cheddar cheese. And it’s not just “oh that sounds good”. It’s like… I need this. And if I don’t get it I am going to be very, very angry. Sometimes I crave foods I don’t even typically like or care much for! One time I just had to have an egg salad sandwich. I hate egg salad. I read once somewhere that food cravings are your body’s way of telling you what nutrients it lacks, but after the egg salad incident I think it’s just screwing with me. I mean once I finally got the damn sandwich I hated it. DUH. But as if The Hungry Thing weren’t enough to deal with, I also have…

Angersharks. Angersharks is angry. At everything and everybody. A good way to meet Angersharks is to take cheetohs or pickles away from The Hungry Thing. Then it all gets very frightening. Angersharks is unpredictable, and mean. But I mean come on, is it that hard to remember that the pickles are mine and to leave them alone? No. However, you can also get me angry with things like…being a red light that hasn’t turned green yet, an electronic device that isn’t working perfectly (probably due to my own error), a neighbor making normal “living my life” noise, or it being trash night. Luckily once I get super period-angry, it doesn’t last long. Then it dissolves into…

I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. Then the water works. I cry and cry, and then it becomes impossible to stop. Once I get going it’s like I cry about everything bad that ever happened. Your fish died? *BAWL* There was traffic on the way home? *WAIL* And yes, I also get into the weepy conversations with my boyfriend that go something like this:

Me: *sniff* “Why do you love me?” *sniiiiifffff*
Boyfriend: “…uh what?”
Me: *sobs* “WHY DO YOU LOVE MEEEE? I’M A MESS…” *bawls*
Boyfriend: *resolutely places arm around me and lets me drip mascara all over his shirt as I cry all over him*

Poor guy is probably terrified of me, but I gave him “disaster training” – I told him if I get hormonal-crazy to just hug me until I exhaust myself or get over it. It works.

So how do I deal with this every month? The truth is often I don’t deal with it well at all. But I try my best. The best thing I’ve done has been to just accept that a week or so out of every month is probably going to completely suck. If you just accept that it will help you move on. Or at least that’s what they say, so I’m waiting for that whole “zen” “at peace with my period” thing to kick in.

I also started tracking my monthly cycle with the help of an iphone app. Then at least I know when it’s coming, and I can make neat little charts with my moods and symptoms over the months. There are cute little emoticons involved, so I’m down. I’m also on the pill, which helps to some degree but I still get pretty nutty most months. It does help to always be as prepared as possible with all the feminine hygiene products I could possibly need well-stocked at any given time, too. Whenever my favorites (come on, we all have our favorites) go on sale, I grab a box. Better to be prepared.

And finally, I have a personal policy to not make any major life decisions during that time. It’s just safer that way. Just knowing that I often get crazy really helps too. If I’m freaking OUT about something I can often just kind of step back and ask myself “is this really a big deal, or is this period brain?”.

Do I still get really bummed about how much it sucks to be crampy, muffin top-y, and grouchy? Yes. But then I go play with my makeup or snuggle with my cats and try to remind myself of all the awesome things about being a girl. Like boobs!

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Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Always via Glam Media.  The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Always.

Comments

  1. I feel your pain. Just ended that torture…

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