Rated R Review – Urban Decay Ultraglide lipgloss

Oh Urban Decay. You and your edginess. You are so bad. So naughty. Or something. Here’s a review of UD’s so-called “blowjob lipgloss”. So uh, hide the kids.

From Urban Decay’s website:

“Enhance your intimate experiences. The love child of lip gloss and lipstick, Ultraglide provides the ultra-slick texture of a deluxe gloss with the semi-opaque color of a lipstick. The result: deep, rich color and beautiful coverage without the tackiness of other glosses. Featuring antioxidant Vitamin E and skin conditioners, the unique (and provocative) lightweight texture offers a smooth glide that takes lethal lips to an entirely new level. And to further heighten your pleasure, each shade is laced with a unique flavor. Mmmm.”

The shade I got to try out is Video, described as “nude shimmer” (how appropriate) with angel food cake flavoring.

The color is indeed pinky nude. I don’t notice a ton of shimmer but there is a lot of vinyl-like shine. The texture is extremely slick (as would be expected), which results in this stuff lasting about 10 minutes on the lips. The flavor is absolutely nasty. Avoid. Nothing like cake. It sure smells like cake, but definitely doesn’t taste like it at all.

And as far as it having a “provocative” texture? The SO and I agree there’s nothing provocative about it. Yep, we “tested” it! When I told SO what Ultraglide claims to be, he said we should try it out, haha. But unfortunately it didn’t go very well. Let me just say there was no enhancing of our experience whatsoever. In fact, I would say it was detrimental to the experience. I was grossed out because the taste was sick and the texture was just kinda ‘blah’ and went away a few minute later anyway because the staying power, like I said, is nada. So as a gloss it is just ‘meh’ and as bedroom fun it’s a total flop. Don’t bother trying it out, I already took one for your team.

Bottom line. Wear it as a gloss, sure, if you don’t mind re-applying all the time.

Ultraglide retails for $17 and is available from Sephora, UrbanDecay.com and Ulta.


  1. Elvira says

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