Darling Mr. Boyfriend and I were talking tonight about how he hates my current bathing suit and how I need a new one. Regardless of his distaste for my choice in swimwear, I do agree I could use a new suit. I mentioned that I would like to find one that isn’t black, because I’m so fair-skinned. He suggested I hit the tanning bed, to which I responded with “I guess you’d rather have an orange girlfriend instead of a white one”. “You can be my big-breasted oompa loompa girlfriend” he said. But then I reminded him of someone who already is basically a big-breasted oompa loompa:
It’s just that swimsuits leave you so…exposed. I went through a phase in my teens where I liked showing a lot of skin, but nowadays in my 20s I’m downright prude about it. Some of it, I think, has to do with being “soooo pale” as those around me would say. Wearing normal, every-day clothes it’s not quite so “in your face”. I still get the occasional comment about how I’m the same complexion as Casper, but when I shimmy into a swimsuit it’s like a whole other ball game because parts of my body that don’t oft see the light of day are suddenly on display. The other part of it has to do with hating my thighs. Not because of jiggle, because who doesn’t have a tiny bit of thigh jiggle anyway? (Afraid of jiggle? Just don’t do jumping jacks by the pool. Problem solved. No one jiggles when they’re laying out lookin’ cute anyway!) But because I am plagued with a couple of scars, and the remnants of old stretch marks in that area.
The idea of getting a little bit of a tan sort of appealing for that reason – tanning just a little can help hide light colored scars, and minimize the appearance of *shudder* stretch marks. But tanning has always been a sensitive subject for me. I’ve posted before about how when you’re pale, people think it’s okay to offer you unsolicited advice about changing your skin color. No really. They do. But in summer, it’s almost as if they feel they are doing you a disservice if they don’t mention that you need “some color”, like not telling me would be the equivalent of letting a friend out on the dance floor with her skirt tucked into her panties. First of all, I know I am pale, thank you! And secondly, I didn’t ask for your advice. Sheesh, like I’m not already insecure enough without all my “bidnezz” out on display.
And then there’s the orange issue. No one wants to look like this. There are many colors of human skin all around the world, but orange is not one of them.
So for this impending summer, I have some thinking to do. To tan, or not to tan? By the way, if I do decide to tan, it would not be in a tanning bed. I’d get spray tanned or something. But hopefully I’d come out looking more like this:
Golden, brown, delicious. ;)
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